August 19, 2013.
2:55pm.
I have been trying not to think about a comprehensive
account of everything that's been going on in my life since I've essentially
stopped blogging. Because then I feel like that will discourage me from
starting again...but clearly just not thinking about it has not been motivating
me to write. Which is unfortunate because oh so much has happened. So many
feelings, so many changes, so much excitement and fun, and so much pain..oh
boy.
So where do I start?
Kristen's Visit
Probably the best week of my summer. No Joke. For many
reasons. I remember very vividly being at the train station in Vernon waiting
for her to arrive. I was lying across a couple chairs, visualizing seeing her
get off in my head, and tears already started welling in my eyes. So when she
actually got off in real life a couple seconds later....oh my god it was one of
the most excited I've felt ever. So I
sprinted over to her, probably crushed her with my hug, and let myself cry :)
It's hard to explain how incredible it was to see her...I've
never had a more intense reunion with someone or more intense feelings of joy
to see someone after a long time away. Because that happens every time I come
back from a vacation, or someone else comes back from a vacation, or you come
back to school, etc. But my goodness I just felt like I was going to explode.
Because really, it had been 5 weeks of nothing familiar. I
had been conversing 98% of the time of a language I've been learning for only 7
months. I'd been living for the first time ever in a city outside of my
hometown - let alone, a village in France. I'd been working 12 hours a day at
an exceptional restaurant in a field I've never actually studied in a school
(in a language I still don't really know). And through all of it, I'd been with
exclusively people I've never met before. I hadn't seen any of my family, any
friends, or anyone I had ever encountered before coming here. And although I
had made friends, they were not friends in the way I'm used to it. Their
friendships (even with their other friends) are just...different from mine at
home. Less proximity, in any case.
So maybe now you can understand why seeing a smiling,
beaming, English-speaking, familiar, beautiful, loving Kristen gave me the best
feeling in the world.
Anyway, so we had our first encounter. We talked, we caught
up, we touched on each other's adventures, and then I prepped her for meeting
Thibaut (who was going to give us a ride back home on the way to the restaurant
with him), for the party Jean-Ba was having that night, and for her stay with
me.
Thibaut was quite well behaved in the car with her actually.
We didn't talk a whole bunch (I mean the car ride was just a few minutes), but
I think he already liked her anyway. I asked if he was going to the party that
night. He said probably not. Earlier in the day I had asked him if he liked the
people he worked with. He said yes, for work. I asked about why they never hung
out outside of work - he said first of all he already saw everyone enough at
work, but mostly he didn't want to talk about work more outside of work. And
that's all they end up talking about. Lol. So in the car when he said he
probably wouldn't go to the party I laughed and clarified if it was because he
didn't want to talk about work. He said yeah, exactly. So I said - well
Kristen's here, and she won't talk about work, which she confirmed. When he
dropped us off and said bye, I said see you later today, and he said we'll see.
Well, Thibaut showed up at the party! It was me, Kristen,
Jean-Ba, Yoan, Thibaut, Pauline, Baptiste, and some girl friend of Baptiste's,
who left pretty early. The first hour or so was fine and nice but Kristen and I
were both acknowledging to ourselves how little we were understanding and feeling
I think a little underwhelmed by the realization that we weren't really going
to be much a part of the night. Buuuut within an instant, everything changed.
Kristen got up and went to the computer to start putting on some songs. And it
was like an instant switch. Suddenly everyone was talking about the music,
American vs French, interesting things, etc etc. And with us! For the rest of
the night we each had individual conversations with one or two people at a time
for the majority of the time, which was perfect because in that situation they
slow down, help us understand, and have real conversations with us. I had a
super intense conversation with Yoan which was so nice because he's like my
favorite. It was sad though. It ended up with him telling me that he doens't
have anyone anymore that he really trusts - his 1 1 /2 year old daughter it the
one person he trusts most. Before there was his ex, but she's an ex. And the
mother of his daughter. Now he says he has no one he's really close to. I kind
of get the feeling they're all a little like that. It's kind of terriyfing to
me. I can't imagine having no one that I totally trust. I have at least 10
people like. And I more than just trust all of them. I trust them with
absolutely everything. People I would never doubt, question, hesitate to talk
to or ask something...I just can't imagine not even having one person like
that. I know I'm lucky. Extremely lucky. But I realize I also know how to form,
develop, and sustain healthy, strong bonds and relationships. I'm starting to
see that my friends here seem to have a bubble that they don't let people cross
and that they won't cross for other people. There's a level of proximity and
sincerity that they always stay behind. And I'm not used to that. In fact, I
feel like I could break that, but it would take some time and it's much harder
to when I don't speak French. With Yoan though, I had some deep conversations
about things I didn't expect him to tell me. I feel like we're pretty close and
could be very good friends with more time.
Anyway, the party ended up being a blast. Super uber blast.
At some point, Thibaud started dancing. But not dancing like teenage pop
dancing...dancing like swing type style. First alone - really awkwardly and
ridiculously, turning himself, etc. Then Pauline joined him. Yes. Pauline and
Thibaut danced for...probably a good hour, swinging, her teaching him new
moves, turning each other, etc etc. It was something else. And so great. I
couldn't believe it, and I thought it was the coolest thing. Plus I thought to
myself - wow, I guess their really gonna get along in Patisserie!!!! (Boy, what
a misled thought that was...to put it mildly...)
We all danced a little, just messing around (not swinging).
Then Jean-Ba did some cool very swag kind of dance moves/style, don't even know
how to explain it. But it was the kind that's very rap/gangster-style-cool or
something. Yeah I have no idea what I'm saying. But he looked kind of funny
doing it. Lol. Anyway, everyone talked a little more, danced a little more,
drank a little more - oh yeah, Thibaut was like...drunk. That's for sure.
And then Thibaut said something that touched the living
daylight out of me. I heard him saying to whoever was right next to me,
"Il faut pas dire ça à Monisha, mais..." which means, "Don't
tell Monisha, but..." and then the rest I didn't catch. Which I was not
going to sit with. So I insisted, "Il faut pas dire QUOI à Monisha?!?!!!"
and to my pleasant surprise, Thibaut told me. He goes, "I said, 'It was a
good time with you in Patisserie - I had fun.'" Then after a hesitation,
"But I never said that, and fuck you!" Ohhhhh good old Thibaut. Yeah,
maybe you don't know Thibaut, but that is a damn sincere confession of liking
me. :) Happy happy Monisha.
(Continued)
August 24, 2013.
2:10am.
So then a little later on in the evening something kind of
surprising happened. Jean-Ba laid down with his head in my lap. And that pretty
much indicated the start of us dating. Yep. Before we'd never actually been
public at all. But from then on we were...couple-y all the time. That night
everyone spent the night at his place. He kicked everyone off his bed so us two
could have it. Kristen and Baptiste slept in his cousin's bed. Don't worry that
was NOT a thing at all - Baptiste was probably actually really into Kristen -
but he has a girlfriend - but Kristen was not at all into him, fortunately, and
so it was obviously just...sleeping in the same bed for space purposes. Just
like Thibaut and Pauline sharing a (TWIN) bed was also just because...well
everyone had to sleep. That ended up being hilarious because Thibaut really
enjoyed going on about how he'd always wanted to sleep on boobs like hers.
Jeezus. Yeah Thibaut is something else...but he was all fun, nice, and...crazy,
but kind that night. It was pretty nice to see his soft side. Anyway, yeah we
all stayed at Jean-Ba's that night and he tried to convince me to stay with him
during the weekend as opposed to going to Paris with Kristen and Pauline. Haha.
Fat chance. The weekend before he was doing absolutely nothing and didn't spend
in with me because he had to sleep in til like 2 or 4 or whatever. And after I
guess didn't care enough to try to contact me. So the one weekend I had with
Kristen - I was spending with Kristen :) And it was fabulous going to Paris
with her and Pauline! Pauline had her whole parent's house to herself - it was
in an incredible location, just next to La Bastille, so super central. And me
and Kristen went to one of her favorite Boulangeries with her, had coffee and
breakfast form the Boulangerie at her place, and then explored a little on our
own. We spend the night there, ate sushi with her in the evening, went to a
café and chcolate shop in the morning, walked around the streets, talked, and
explored, and then returned to Giverny.
I really could go on and on about how wonderful it was just
to have Kristen around, spend time with her, and introduce her to my friends.
And hopefully I will write more about it and about the two weeks since then in
another post. But for now, at least I've written something :)
Yes, it's a while after that night by the way...lots and
lots has happened.
I got a kidney infection which subjected me to some of the
worst few days of my life. I have to say, I'm spoiled with love and care and
attention from my family when I'm sick at home. And here...well it was not
quite the same, to put it in the mildest possible form. Nadia checked in on my
via text and when I saw her in the evening when she got back - just asking how
I'm doing. She was very kind, and that was nice. But still didn't
actually...help/take care of me. Pauline also checked in on me and talked with
me when she came back from work, which was nice. When Chef was back during the
break, he asked how I was. So I answered not at all well, but told him I was on
antibiotics and if the doctor was right should be better in 3 days and be able
to work Saturday. He said okay. Other then that - no word from anyone, no
sympathy, no...nothing. From my boyfriend, yes my boyfriend, officially -
absolutely nothing. For 3 days. No visit, no call, no text. Yep. That was cool.
Apparently (Pauline told me) he was going to visit one evening but my light was
off so they thought I was asleep. He was planning on visiitng me the next
afternoon but...I don't know. Then he finally actually texted me (in response
to my sad face text, actually) and said he would try to see me the next
afternoon during break. TRY I don't know why. But I asked if he could actually
just pick me up because I had to go to Vernon anyway for something to eat. And
when with me, he was very sweet, loving, helped me with my grocery shopping,
etc. But still. My family talking with me over skype for hours and hours and
hours on end gives you a taste of the kind of love I'm so freaking lucky to
have from my family. And it was hard not having that here. Having them over
skype was incredible - but not the same. It was also incredibly touching to
hear from my mom that Arvind (my uncle) offered to drive 5 hours from Holland
to come pick me up and take me there to take care of me. Like I said -
incredible family. If I had known Monday that I would be sick until Saturday,
and I had known of that offer then - I think I would've taken him up on it. The
following few days were really misery. But I thought it would pass quickly, and
didn't go to the doctor's until Wednesday, and when I heard about Arvind's
offer on Thursday I was starting to feel better. However, it still meant the
world to me that I have so many people who would do so much for me. So I went
back to work Saturday evening, still with a little bit of a stomach ache and
not 100% - still fatigued and not quite perfect, but well enough to work, and
god I wanted to work. Things had just started getting really cool and excited
in the kitchen, working with Yoan! Now it's...wow! Friday! Or technically
Saturday, because it's 2:00am, I took my last antibiotic this evening, and I've
felt 100% for several days now :)
Well, like I said, so much more has happened. But I will end
this blog post now. Can't believe I have just a little more that a week
left...it's unreal. But...I can't wait to see my parents :) I meet them in
Paris next Monday....I love you guys!
